Avenues of Success
In this section, we focus on seven Avenues of Success to help you develop yourself holistically in all four quadrants of the Medicine Wheel. We will provide some information in each area to inspire you to continue researching on your own—to ask questions and utilize your community, role models, elders, books, and even social media as resources to help you on your exciting path to self-discovery.
FAMILY, COMMUNITY, AND DEVELOPING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS
One aspect of the Medicine Wheel is the four developmental stages of life-infancy/childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and eldership. Traditionally, in most Indigenous cultures, when a woman became pregnant the whole community came together in celebration. It was not only the woman or her immediate family who were gaining a new relative, but the entire community. The newborn baby was viewed as a gift from Creator, not a possession to be owned. In Indigenous cultures, it is believed that the greatest teachers in life are children and elders. Children are valued for their purity and innocence, not yet having been exposed to the harsh realities of society, whereas elders have made their journey around the sacred circle of life and acquired wisdom from their life experiences. Growing old did not carry the stigma that it does today. In our ancestors’ time, wrinkles and old age were glorified—a beautiful reminder of the wisdom and strength acquired on this sacred journey of life. In this manual you will read about people sharing their strong connections to elders. This connection is an essential force in human development—in acquiring parental skills, and learning to be a productive community member.
In Dakota culture, the ultimate goal in life is learning how to be a good relative. Young people are taught to look to their left and then to their right before they begin to eat, to make sure all of their relatives have food to eat. Raising a child is the entire community’s responsibility. Aunties, uncles, and grandparents all share a special role in that child’s life, to provide unconditional support and lead by example. Teaching with love, understanding, honesty, humility, and compassion is at the core of being a good parent. Children are not shamed when they make mistakes; rather they are encouraged to view mistakes as learning opportunities.
Having a healthy relationship with your fellow partner in life is also a key component to living in a good way. Our ancestors
believed the coming together of wife and husband was not only to procreate but also for the two people to help one another grow spiritually. For some Indigenous cultures this was the purpose of a marital union. How do we do this? It begins with taking the time to get to know yourself. When you take time to get to know yourself and love yourself, this is when you can be a good partner.
The old saying, “Two halves make a whole” is not entirely accurate; rather, the truth is that two wholes make an even bigger whole. When you are happy with your own self, you will not be looking to your partner to complete you. He or she may inspire you to be a better person or may help you discover your true potential, but it is not his or her job to complete you. Also, treating your partner with the utmost love and respect is crucial in creating a healthy relationship. No matter how upset you might become, remember to pay attention to your words. Words hold power, and once you say something hurtful, you can’t take it back.
The availability of the Internet makes words even more powerful, because what you post online never goes away. It is always better to take a few minutes to calm yourself than to say something hurtful and unnecessary that you will later regret. Another important aspect of developing a healthy relationship is not being afraid to express your love through compliments, encouragement, and support of your partner in a consistent manner.
Most importantly, learning to be a good human being and
relative when you are interacting with your loved ones, family,
community, strangers, and even yourself involves taking a step
back and remembering the importance of respecting one
another. The Anishenabe Seven Sacred Truths is a powerful tool
in reminding us how to treat one another, and the everyday
values to include in our lives. The Seven Sacred Truths are
love, respect, honesty, humility, courage, wisdom, and truth.
Each interaction is an opportunity to show compassion and
understanding. Each experience—whether good or bad—is an
opportunity to learn about yourself and life.
Five Easy Ways to Be a Good Relative
1. Say something kind to a friend or a family member.
2. Be loyal and forgive.
3. Learn to express yourself in a positive manner.
4. Be a good listener.
5. Remember that human beings are more similar than we are different.